There’s nothing more important to us than our children. We do everything we can to protect them. Yet, sometimes, adult decisions must be made about what is best for us personally so that we can be our best selves for our children. Paradoxically, these decisions can be challenging for our kids. We often feel desperate to shield them from any negative effects.
The reality is that separation and divorce do affect children, just as much as where we live, the activities we choose for them, and our decisions about social time. Every choice we make impacts them in various ways, and we may not fully understand those effects for years, if at all.
Much of parenting involves navigating the unknown without guarantees of how things will turn out. The best we can do is:
Equip children with the language for a wide range of emotions. Create a safe space for them to express these feelings without judgment or attempts to “fix” them. Just be curious and listen.
Encourage deeper exploration of feelings. Some emotions need to be examined closely—turned over, prodded, and then set aside for a while before returning to them.
Embrace the unknown. Understand that no matter how well we think we’re handling the separation, our children may need to revisit this time in the future. New developmental stages bring fresh insights, feelings, and reactions.
Provide coping skills. Ensure your children have access to tools for navigating change—distractions, activities, relaxation techniques, and support systems are all essential for emotional regulation.
Separation and divorce are significant transitions for every family member. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and have limited resources, don’t hesitate to seek support. These are critical times for everyone to embrace change and develop emotional skills that will last a lifetime.
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